Ho’oponopono Forgiveness Ceremony
by Ariel Spilsbury
"Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane pa;ents--without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person's illness. As he improved himself, the pa;ent improved.
"When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane? It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the story.
"However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist
had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho 'oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn't let it leave my mind. If the story was at
all true, I had to know more. I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way. We're responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does--but that's wrong.
"The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspec;ve about total responsibility. His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist.
He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous.
Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot
or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being aMacked by pa;ents. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.
"Dr. Len told me that he never saw pa;ents. He agreed to have an
office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he
would work on himself. As he worked on himself, pa;ents began to heal.
"'AOer a few months, pa;ents that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely,' he told me. 'Others who had to be heavily medicated were geQng off their medica;ons. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed.' I was in awe. 'Not only that,' he went on, 'but the staff began to enjoy coming to work.
Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because pa;ents were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that ward is closed.'
"This is where I had to ask the million dollar ques;on: 'What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?'
"'I was simply healing the part of me that created them,' he said. I didn't understand. Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life- simply because it is in your life--is your responsibility. In a literal sense the en;re world is your crea;on.
"Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is
in your life. This means that terrorist ac;vity, the president, the economy or anything you experience and don't like--is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projec;ons from inside you. The problem isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change you.
"I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in ho 'oponopono means loving yourself.
"If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone, even a mentally ill criminal you do it by healing you.
"I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those pa;ents' files?
"'I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again,' he explained.
"That's it? "That's it.
"Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.
"Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emo;onal hot buMons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message.
"This ;me, I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you,' I didn't say it to anyone in par;cular.
I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was crea;ng the outer circumstance.
"Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't take any outward ac;on to get that apology. I didn't even write him back. Yet, by
saying 'I love you,' I somehow healed within me what was crea;ng him.
"I later aMended a ho 'oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He's now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive.
He praised my book, The AMractor Factor. He told me that as I improve myself, my book's vibra;on will raise, and everyone will feel it when
they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve.
"'What about the books that are already sold and out there?' I asked.
"'They aren't out there,' he explained, once again blowing my mind with his mys;c wisdom. 'They are s;ll in you.' In short, there is no out there. It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves.
"Suffice It to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you. When you look, do it with love."
The words of Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len:
"Ho'oponopono is really very simple. For the ancient Hawaiians, all problems begin as thought. But having a thought is not the problem. So what's the problem? The problem is that all our thoughts are imbued with painful memories, memories of persons, places, or things.
The intellect working alone can't solve these problems, because the intellect only manages. Managing things is no way to solve problems. You want to let them go! When you do Ho'oponopono, what happens is that the Divinity takes the painful thought and neutralizes or purifies it. You don't purify the person, place, or thing. You neutralize the energy you associate with that person, place, or thing. So the first stage of Ho'oponopono is the purification of that energy.
Now something wonderful happens. Not only does that energy get neutralized; it also gets released, so there's a brand new slate.
To do Ho'oponopono, you don't have to know what the problem or error is. All you have to do is notice any problem you are experiencing physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever. Once you notice, your responsibility is to immediately begin to clean, to say, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me."
