Inner Marriage
Week 1 - Preparing the Inner Space, Bringing Awareness to Our Inner Masculine and Feminine (days 1-8)
Day 1 - Establishing the Alchemical Container
Welcome to this 30-Day Journey of Self Love and Awakening which will bring balance and harmony to the masculine feminine within you. As you integrate these polarities your relationships and your world begin to transform and you feel a deeper sense of wholeness, completeness and oneness.
The Inner Marriage journey is an ongoing process. There is no goal and there is no end. This is a concept that may be hard to grasp from the ego mind. One that is always trying to get somewhere, be someone, become something.
This is an alchemical journey transmuting the lead of the small ego mind into the gold of the Divine mind. Each step is building a foundation to support a deeper capacity to love self and other.
“Love of Self is the bindu of freedom. (Bindu in Sanskrit means original seed of light) All conscious evolution proceeds from self love. Self love is the alpha and omega of conscious evolution, that simply grows to include ever expanding fields of awareness, that lead us into spiritual freedom. To seek spiritual freedom without self love, would be like building a roof and sustaining it in the air without a structure underneath it.” Ariel Spilsbury
All the relational reflections of people in your world will show you exactly what stands between you and self love.
Do you have a critic in your life? A perpetrator? A disempowered whiner? A betrayer? An angry controlling figure? A manipulator?
Whatever qualities, situations and characters in your life still trigger you to react emotionally, show you what still stands between you and self-love.
Listen to your inner dialog about what’s “wrong” with you, what you still judge in yourself and others. The ways in which you contract, separate, judge or diminish, show you what still blocks the free flow of self love (and thus Divine Love) in your being.
Ask yourself which of your inner polarities is in need of more loving nurturance, care and attention. Which aspect of you really gets short changed in its expression? The answer to these questions will show you where and how more self-love can be offered to bring about balance within.
Alchemical Awareness ~Foundational Understanding
Take responsibility for your life movie and begin to pay attention to the characters in your movie. How are they parts of the self desiring to be loved and more fully integrated? Then take the next step of becoming mindful and vigilantly notice what the projected images/beliefs/concepts are that are shaping your experience of reality.
All relationships are reflections that hold the possibility of offering us heightened inner awareness and growth.
If, however, you are looking only at the image/reflection in relationship outside yourself to complete you, fulfill you, or make you whole, you will be unlikely to find it. You will be doomed to repeat one “failure”, dissatisfaction, incompletion, disappointment after another in outer relationships.
Though we are born into a focus of one polarity or the other, as a male or female, we each contain both polarities within us. These two polarities are divinely designed to seek resolution, integration and union, rather than to remain separate.
At the level of vibration and frequency, dynamic, male energy flows downward and outward, and the magnetic female energy flows inward and upward.
Until the two polarities are integrated within our own being, the idealized or distorted and judged images that we hold of our undeveloped polarity, will continue to sabotage attempts to authentically communicate or relate to relational reflections in our outside world. The idealized image we hold of the perfect man or perfect woman outside of ourselves, necessarily leads to disaster as soon as the chosen external person/reflection fails to live up to those idealized expectations or images we have projected on to that relationship. After a time, idealized projected images are simply unable to live up to our expectations.
As we stop giving power to these projected false images, instead choosing to come into wholeness within ourselves, miraculously we begin to “see” the person we are in relationship with as they actually are. We begin to “see” the unity and cooperation of all life, rather than the contracted, fearful, jealous, competing version of reality that before seemed so real.
Inner wholeness implies healing perceptions/images that operate out of fear, that separates, judges, competes, makes right or wrong.
As we choose to consciously move toward wholeness within, we naturally begin to desire to cooperate, commune, and harmonize, which inevitably leads us into the expanded awareness and embodiment of Unity consciousness, which is the final goal of the Inner Marriage.”
Alchemical TuneUp
Meditate on this list and ask yourself if you are willing to deepen with these transformational awareness's.
Alchemical Affirmations
“I am open and available for transformation and integration of my masculine feminine aspects”
Day 2 - Preparing the womb/Heart space
Today's focus is on opening to the embrace of the Great Mother as you prepare your womb/Heart space to carry this seed intention for inner balance and harmony to give birth to the Divine Human. Just as a newly pregnant Mother begins to shift her focus on self to the awareness that she is carrying new life and treating her body as a precious temple for this new life to grow in, you are being asked to create this space within yourself.
Begin to open your awareness to these inner qualities of the masculine and feminine.
Listen to your inner dialog. You will be amazed to hear these polarity positions speak. They inevitably show you who is running the inner mind circus that is fueled by distorted and imbalanced polarity perceptions. When you point the finger outside yourself and say critically.. “YOU…. fill in the blank...” Put the word “I” in front of what you are saying to the other, turn it back to Self and you will be astounded at what you perceive.
Remember this is a path of self-love. Deepen your practice of being the witness watching when the critic or judge towards self or other arrives and bless and forgive that voice, that perception.
Become mindful and vigilant noticing what the projected images/beliefs/concepts are, that are shaping your experience of reality. Then you can fully own your creation in the outside world. That is, you own the creation of EVERY experience in your life, no matter how seemingly painful or pleasurable. Then you begin honoring the gifting held in any emotionally reactive behavior, as pointedly showing you where you are still identified and thus stuck in dysfunctional beliefs and their projections onto your reality. To uncover this reactive patterning, is one of the great values of intimate human relationships. In the trust and vulnerability of intimate relationships, we are willing to risk exposing more of our incompleteness, thus opening ourselves to accelerated growth. All relationships are reflections that hold the possibility of offering us heightened inner awareness and growth. If however, you are looking only at the image/reflection in relationship outside yourself to complete you, fulfill you or make you whole, you will be unlikely to find it. You will be doomed to repeat one “failure”, dissatisfaction, incompletion, disappointment after another in outer relationships.
Alchemical Tune Up
Embrace exactly where you are and see through the eyes of the Mother that sees her child as whole, perfect and complete.
Archetypal Activation
Great Mother- Unconditional Love
Alchemical Audio Meditation
Enter into the embrace of the Great Mother.
Day 3 – Creating an Inner Heart Temple
Create an inner sacred place in meditation, a Heart temple, as a forum to bring all apparent dualities into unity, a silent, still, healing place where all parts of self are heard equally. The Heart is the crucible of the alchemical transformation, the place of the resolution of all apparent duality pairs.
Sit in communion with the Divine in your Heart temple. Move energy. Dance, sing, garden, bake, draw, run, sound, breathe consciously. Creative expression provides a direct access to an integrated model of the Divine Self.
Focusing on the on-going inspiration and process of creativity rather than the outcome or product, will offer deep insights into the integration of your inner polarities.
Honor all feelings and emotions as equally valid access points to the Divine. Allow emotions to move and vibrate until they are freed.
Offer unconditional acceptance to those parts of yourself which you have judged and disowned. Bring into awareness the underlying beliefs that have supported self judgment and separation, which are presently asking for forgiveness and release.
Give up being a control freak. Relax.
Try something novel. Surrender to the Divine Self.
Embrace, in love, the message your fear is trying to deliver to you rather than trying to deny or get rid of it.
Build an altar honoring both sides of your nature. Allow the symbols you intuitively choose to teach you about resolution and integration.
Take time in silence to cultivate an ability to hear the voice of both polarities.
Alchemical Tune Up
Make two lists. In the first list, write down which of these qualities you perceive to be feminine and which masculine.
In the second list, write down which of these qualities you desire, and then write down the ones you feel you already possess to some extent. Place a number from 1 to 10 (with 10 being the strongest and 1 the weakest) next to each quality to indicate how strong each is in you at this time.
Stability
Emotional
Expressive
Steady
Thoughtful
Flowing
Clear
Sensual
Beautiful
Competitive
Graceful
Loving
Directed
Radiant
Focused
Aggressive
Spontaneous
Passionate
Strong
Protective
Receptive
Passive
Independent
Dependent
Rational
Irrational
Trustworthy
Dominant
Compassionate
Creative
Present
Soft
Driven
Vulnerable
Subtle
Intuitive
Manipulative
Seductive
Penetrating
Journal the different positions. Ask them what they feel, want, need, and know. You’ll be surprised at the answers! Honor the undeveloped polarity with focus, time, attention and nurturance.
Alchemical Audio Meditation
Meditation introducing the Inner Polarities
Alchemical Affirmation
“I Am... that I Am... that I Am”
Alchemical Affirmation
“I am open to feeling it all and embracing my shadow wholeheartedly as I embrace my light.”
Day 4 - Taking Responsibility for your Reality
Take responsibility for your life movie. Begin to pay attention to the characters in your movie and how they are parts of the self desiring to be loved and more fully integrated.Then take the next step of becoming mindful and vigilantly notice what the projected images/beliefs/concepts are that are shaping your experience of reality.
Alchemical Tune Up
See the other as a part of the Self that is desiring to be loved and respond to them with the love you desire.
Alchemical Affirmation
“I am the witness watching the movie of life”
Day 5 - Understanding Projection
“Your mind is the projector of your reality and so, by necessity, everything you perceive is filtered through your subjective lensing of reality, that thus, can only project that which you presently are aware of in consciousness. Your mind acts as a focused projection beam, that moves through programmed and conditioned images, thus making secondary, projected images of reality on the screen of your external world, that are not primary or real, but exactly like a movie that you are watching. (At least in a movie house you can see the projection beam of light decoding the images, which gives you a head start in accurately understanding their origin.) Your mind also operates as a tracking beam by only “seeing” the images of what it most fears or desires. Thus the process of dis-identifying with the idealized or feared images that have polarized in your mind, begins to drain the power out of them. This is the beginning of the work in the alchemical marriage within.
In order to become whole, we project our incomplete, disowned, distorted or unhealed parts out on to live characters in our world. This is not malicious. It is curative. Consciousness knows what it is doing. We live in the Hall of Mirrors in the Earth curriculum, where projection shows us where we still separate out of unity. We produce dream figures in our waking life that show us exactly where our inner polarity is out of balance and thus unity. By nature of fact, if you have a charged emotional reaction to someone or some event, you are being given a gift to show you where you are still stuck, repeating previous patterns of distorted perception. If, for example, you repeatedly have a male figure in your life that judges and criticizes you, you are being shown that your own inner male polarity is judging and critical. When you heal that pattern within, with the light of your conscious awareness, miraculously the outside critical figures in your life seem to magically transform, disappear or not bother you anymore. If you have a female figure in your life that seems to disempower you, “put you down”, or try to manipulate and control you, look to your inner female polarity for exactly those traits. The ego powerfully resists the possibility of the truth of this perspective at first, because, literally its existence is threatened by this awareness. I challenge you to begin to listen to your inner dialog. You will be amazed to hear these polarity positions speak. They inevitably show you who is running the inner mind circus that is fueled by distorted and imbalanced polarity perceptions.” Ariel Spilsbury
Alchemical Tune Up
When you point the finger outside yourself and say critically.. “YOU.... fill in the blank.., put the word “I” in front of what you are saying to the other, turn it back to Self and you will be astounded at what you perceive.”
Day 6 - Begin to See How Life is Communicating with You through Symbols
“These two polarity positions within the sacred marriage are symbolically represented as the staff and chalice, stag and deer, eagle and snake, sun and moon, sword and chalice, fire and water, sky and earth, east and west, yang and yin, king and queen, gold and green. This may be helpful to be aware of, in observing your dreams, the oracle of nature and the world around you.
Beyond these collective symbols, you may also be given specific symbols for your inner polarities that are unique to your psyche. Sometimes to cultivate the individuation of these two polarities, naming them or creating a symbol for each of them is of assistance.” – Ariel Spilsbury
Begin to take notice to the world of symbols around you and in your dreamtime.
Alchemical Tune Up
Keep a dream journal and begin to pay attention to the theme of your dreams and how the symbols in your dreams are part of yourself desiring wholeness.
Alchemical Affirmation
“I am awake and aware”
Day 7 – Healing our Fear-based Projections
Inner wholeness implies healing perceptions/images that operate out of fear that separates, judges, competes, makes right or wrong.
Begin to notice where you have a strong desire to be seen as right or that you know. Watch when the small self/ ego defends itself.
Alchemical Tune -Up
Practice not responding to the need to defend.
Alchemical Affirmation
“I no longer need to be seen as being right. I rest in Presence.”
Day 8 - Polarity
“Though we are born into a focus of one polarity or the other, as a male or female, we each contain both polarities within us. These two polarities are divinely designed to seek resolution, integration and union, rather than to remain separate. In the Hindu tradition they are called yin and yang (female and male) or the alternate energy currents within the spine of the ida and pingala. In Alchemy they are called Sol, the King on the electric right side and Luna, the Queen, on the magnetic left, who can, when integrated, create an alchemical transmutation and rebirth into a higher order of being that is neither and both.... the spiritual androgyne. At the level of vibration and frequency, dynamic, male energy flows downward and outward, and the magnetic female energy flows inward and upward. From the Taoist perspective, yin is the upward moving earth energy and yang the downward moving energy of spirit.
The process of coming into integration, harmony and balance with these two polarities is called in Alchemy, The Great Work.” Ariel Spilsbury
Alchemical Tune Up
Stand fully grounded feet firmly planted in the earth and raise your arms up in a mudra of receptivity opening to the solar light and allowing it to merge with your grounded Presence seeing yourself as light embodied.
Alchemical Affirmation
“I am both masculine/ feminine, sun and moon”
End week One - Prepare the Heart for the next week with the Practice of Gratitude
Expand and open your Heart with the practice of gratitude. Thank your precious heart and say” I love you,” and FEEL it! Start and end your day with a prayer of gratitude.Tthink of all the things you are grateful for, even the small things like warm water in the morning, the scent of coffee, a smile from a stranger, a kitty purring you into delight. You get the idea. Look for things to be grateful for and watch your gratitude garden grow and your life transform.
